Let me tell you a little story.
Once upon a time there was a girl who needed extra credit in Biology. Since her class was studying yeast, the teacher told her she could bring in a loaf of bread made by her very own self. "No problem," she naively thought.
She followed the directions perfectly for making two loafs of simple white bread. She added and mixed and kneaded and waited. And waited. And waited.... Seeing that her dough didn't exactly double she figured out a reasonable solution. She decided to place all of the dough into one loaf pan to form a loaf and stuck it in the oven. Much later than anticipated the loaf was finally finished. She placed her five pound loaf of bread in a brown bag and took it to school the next day. Done.
Little did she realize that her loaf had not produced the yeast fluffiness desired until she saw her classmates' masterpieces. To avoid humiliation, she quickly threw her brown bag in the trash like and pretended that nothing had ever happened.
When her teacher inquired after class as to the whereabouts of her project, she fessed up. The teacher hysterically and promptly removed the loaf from the trashcan. The girl was dismissed.
The next day upon arrival to the classroom, she saw a group of students gathered around the door. To her horror, the girl saw there on the floor, none other than the teacher's new doorstop- a shellacked five pound loaf of bread.
And just to prove that some things never change here is what my children found today. They couldn't figure out what this disgusting thing was in the bowl on top of the TV in my bedroom (the warmest spot in the house).
This is wheat bread that I made last weekend which didn't rise and I forgot all about. *sigh*